


you were made of matches

by a24harris



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 06:55:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12676689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a24harris/pseuds/a24harris
Summary: "How did you break my heart without even trying?How are you on my mind? You're not even talking to meYou were made of matches, and you burned me to the ground"





	you were made of matches

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little drabble. Inspired by the song Matches by Cash Cash and Rozes.

The first time they kiss, she’s sixteen years old, and she has no idea what she’s doing.

 

Sure, she’s kissed boys before, but this? This is a whole new world and Ali can’t keep up with the way her head is spinning.

 

It all happens so fast. One minute, she’s pressed to Ashlyn’s side on the couch, eyes wide as she watches Jamie Lee Curtis run through the house. The next, Michael Myers is popping out, knife glinting in the moonlight, and she’s leaping into Ashlyn’s lap. The popcorn goes flying, and Ali’s face instantly finds the crook of her best friends neck while she lets out a low whine.

 

Ashlyn’s laughing at her, a low throaty chuckle that vibrates against Ali’s forehead. But even with her amusement, she’s quick to think of Ali, wrapping her arms low around her back and pulling her even closer until Ali’s sitting in her lap, knees bracketing Ashlyn’s hips. She stays there for a few minutes until her heart rate slows, but then strong hands are slipping under the back of her shirt to stroke at her back in a gesture she thinks is meant to be soothing, and suddenly her heart is thundering for an entirely different reason.

 

She pulls away to find Ashlyn’s eyes, and the second whiskey meets hazel, the air around them shifts and pops with a vibrating electricity. Ali’s lips part slightly, and she watches the way Ashlyn’s gaze falls, a pink tongue darting out to wet her bottom lip as Ali swallows around the lump in her throat.

 

It wasn’t as though the sensation was entirely new. She’d realized in the last few months that she felt something for her best friend of eleven years, but she’d never given herself the chance to dwell on it, always pushing the feelings aside as soon as they tried to surface. Now, though,  with Ashlyn holding her, their chests pressing together with each shaky breath, Ali lets herself feel all of it, letting out a shaky breath when she feels the responding tug low in her stomach.

 

She doesn’t worry about who makes the first move. All she knows is that one minute she’s lost in Ashlyn’s eyes, and the next, their lips are pressed together, that shaky breath stolen away completely at the touch of soft lips.

 

As Ashlyn’s hands slide from beneath her shirt, moving up her body to tangle in her hair and pull her closer, Ali’s convinced she can feel her entire body set on fire with Ashlyn’s touch.

* * *

 

They sleep together for the first time on New Year’s Eve.

 

Ashlyn’s her girlfriend, as been for over two months now, and Ali’s ready to give her that, to give her something no one else can have. Her virginity. It should scare her, but she knows it’s new for Ashlyn, too. They’re taking that step together, and the thought comforts her.

 

Ashlyn’s tender, and gentle. She’s older, and she’d always been a bit ahead of Ali in everything in life, but she’s just as awkward and unsure as Ali is as they fumble to undo buttons and pull straps away from warm skin.

 

It’s over faster than either of them expected.

 

It’s perfect, and they both love it, but they’re tired and they’d been at a party all night, so their stamina is basically non existent.

 

The next morning, the awkwardness is gone, but Ashlyn’s eagerness has returned tenfold. She’s relentless, winking at her with a shit eating grin before dragging Ali into her en suite bathroom, insisting they shower together.

 

When her back hits the wall, Ali’s convinced the water can do nothing to put out the flame burning in her heart.

* * *

 

 

The break-up hurts.

 

Ali had known it was coming, if she was being realistic.

 

They’d been living in a bubble for the past few months, but real life kept passing by around them, and before long, Ashlyn’s graduating, heading up to North Carolina. They talk about doing the long distance, but they both know there’s no point. Florida and North Carolina are too far away. They won’t be able to see each other except for breaks, and Ali won’t let Ashlyn spend all her free time pining for her when she should be enjoying college life.

 

Ali’s heart is breaking, but she doesn’t let it show. Ashlyn’s got a full scholarship to play soccer, and Ali’s so damn proud of her. She wants to beg her not to go, to not leave her behind, but she swallows the words down. She tells her how proud she is, how much she’s going to miss her, how they’ll still be friends.

 

Her words sound hollow, but she keeps repeating them, watching Ashlyn’s car drive away.

 

She breaks down the second the car turns around a corner, disappearing from sight. For the first time, the burning love she feels for her best friend hurts, and she just wants to be numb.

* * *

 

They talk often, but Ali knows it’s not the same.

 

Ashlyn’s busy with soccer, and classes, and Ali’s gearing up for senior year and her inevitable graduation. She’s filling out applications and doing campus visits, and she doesn’t have a lot of time to miss Ashlyn.

 

When she gets her acceptance letter from Penn State, she cries. It was her dream school, her parents’ alma mater. It was also seven and a half hours away from Chapel Hill.

 

They Skype that night, and Ali can see, even through the computer screen, how proud Ashlyn is.

 

“I love you, Alex,” she says softly, and Ali knows that she means it. But it’s not enough. It’s never been enough that they love with a reckless abandon, fierce and burning bright. There’s so much more than that, and Ali briefly wonders if it will ever be enough.

* * *

 

 

She hates the way they grow apart, but she tells herself it was inevitable.

 

Ashlyn starts dating, and it feels like an untamed fire burning in Ali’s chest at the image of another girl wrapped around Ashlyn, lips pressed to her cheek. That night, Ali goes on an unfollowing and unfriending spree.

 

Ashlyn never comments, and Ali wonders if she even noticed.

* * *

 

It takes her a while, but by the time she’s gearing up for her first trip home from college, she goes out on a date.

 

It’s pleasant enough, and the conversation flows easily. Brent’s an interesting guy, he’s handsome, and she could see herself going on a second date with him. But that night, when she’s scrolling through instagram, her past comes back to haunt her. There’s Ashlyn, tagged in a mutual friend’s photo. She’s back home, and Ali can’t help the flutter in her chest at the thought of seeing Ashlyn again when she returns in just a few days. The hurt isn’t as strong as she thought it would be. Instead, there’s a warmth, as though the sight of the other girl lit a small fire just beneath her heart.

 

She doesn’t bother calling Brent back for that second date.

* * *

 

She sees her briefly one Christmas, halfway through her sophomore year of college. She’s on crutches, a torn ACL that Ali had heard about through the grapevine. Her heart clenches in her throat as she watches Ashlyn clamber from the car, her brother Chris holding out an arm to help her.

 

Her body pulses with an unchecked heat, so sudden and strong that it makes Ali’s eyes go wide. She wants to go to her, wants to run up and hug her, kiss her until she’s breathless.

 

Instead, she mumbles something unintelligible to Kyle, dropping the lights she’d been untangling as she helped him decorate the house, and moves to disappear inside.

 

She doesn’t have the heart to look back and see if Ashlyn’s seen her too.

* * *

 

 

There’s only one face that pops into her mind when Justin’s in front of her, down on one knee and holding out a ring.

 

It’s not his, and Ali feels her heart break when she awkwardly pulls him to his feet.

 

They’d been dating for almost two years, and with graduation right around the corner, Justin wants to take the next step.

 

If Ali’s being honest with herself, there’s only one person she’d ever wanted to take those steps with, and it’s not him. He’s comfortable, and warm, like a towel fresh out the dryer after a long shower. But he doesn’t make her burn, doesn’t set that fire alight that she knows she needs if she’ll ever be truly happy.

 

She moves out over the week after graduation, and with nowhere else to go, she heads home.

* * *

 

 

Ali’s not ready for the way she feels when she sees her again.

 

She’s at the beach with Kyle, soaking up every minute of him being home from LA.

 

She’d spent the summer convincing her family that ending things with Justin was the right choice, but unlike her parents, Kyle had never pushed for more information. He’d always understood, and she was eternally grateful.

 

Her gratitude disappears when he leads her into a small surf shop just off the water, a mischievous glint in his eye as he steers her to the back.

 

She can sense her before she even sees her.

 

She’s cut her hair short, and let it go back to the natural color Ali hadn’t seen since Ashlyn got ahold of a bottle of peroxide at 13. The sight makes her pulse race, unable to stop from picturing her fingers sliding through the short hairs at Ashlyn’s neck.

 

Her arms and one leg are covered in tattoos, exposed thanks to the tank top and board shorts she’s wearing. She’s currently helping someone put on a wet suit, the muscles in her arms drawing Ali’s gaze as she zips it up.

 

Kyle’s loud voice breaks her trance, her brother stepping forward to grab Ashlyn into a hug the second she finishes with the customer.

 

He’s going on and on about what a surprise it is to see her, but Ali can see right through it.

 

He planned this entire thing.

 

She wants to leave, to disappear, but Kyle reaches out and drags her forward, before suddenly remembering he conveniently has somewhere to be and leaving them standing together in the middle of the shop.

* * *

 

 

They go to lunch together, and Ali feels like she’s 16 again.

 

There’s no hurt, no resentment. Instead, there’s a fondness as they reminisce, as Ashlyn shares stories of UNC and Ali shares her own from Penn State.

 

Ali tells her that she’s gotten a teaching job at their old high school, how she’s not ready to go back to early mornings and hard work in just over a week. Ashlyn’s home permanently now, she reveals in return. She and Chris bought the shop from her uncle just under a year ago. Ali doesn’t ask, but Ashlyn offers up the loss of her soccer career, explaining how a second ACL tear had cut her dream short.

 

Ali’s not thinking when she reaches out, fingers brushing over the long, jagged scar on her knee.

 

She can’t help but notice the way Ashlyn’s breath catches at the contact.

* * *

 

When she wakes up a few hours later, she’s curled around Ashlyn’s naked body, slender fingers running absentmindedly up and down her back.

 

She can’t find it in herself to regret it, especially when Ashlyn sense she’s awake, rolling them until she’s hovering over Ali’s body. Her eyes are bright, lips curling into a smirk, and Ali’s hand finds her neck, dragging her down into a kiss.

* * *

 

Inevitable.

 

It’s the only words Ali can hear, repeating in her head over and over, as she walks arm in arm with her father.

 

Her eyes are locked on Ashlyn, suit perfectly fitted and pressed, her hair coiffed and styled. Kyle stands behind her, his eyes wet as she watches his baby sister walk closer.

 

She’s shaking when her father puts her hand in Ashlyn’s, the touch warm and comforting, before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

* * *

 

Later that night, she’s curled around her wife, exhaustion creeping around the edges of her focus.

 

She’s content in the silence, but Ashlyn’s words break through the quiet.

 

“Did you think, back then, that we’d be here?”

 

There’s a tone in her voice that Ali can’t quiet place, and she lifts up, looking down at the other girl. Her brow is furrowed, taking in the sadness evident in Ashlyn’s face.

 

Ashlyn continues before she gets the chance to speak.

 

“I just - after I left for college, I thought I’d lost you, y’know? It hurt so much and I made myself move on, but god, Ali.” Her hands shift to Ali’s back, stroking up and down smooth skin. “I don’t think I ever stopped loving you.”

 

Ali can’t help the grin that spreads across her lips as she leans down, pressing her lips to Ashlyn’s.

 

“You lit a fire in my heart, Ashlyn Harris. It was never gonna burn out. It just needed to smolder for a while.”

 

It’s ridiculously cheesy, and Ali feels herself blushing as she repeats her own words in her head, but when she sees the way Ashlyn’s eyes light up, when she hears the way her breath hitches, she can’t find it in her to care.


End file.
